Well today I have been a parent for 73 days and NOTHING HAS CHANGED. =) Although today we are going to see my husbands parents. First off let me say it has been two weeks since the last time Pun'kin saw them, and not once have they called. Not to say "hey how's Pun'kin?" or "when are you bringing our grand daughter over again?" or " WE MISS OUR GRAND DAUGHTER" So again in my personal opinion I feel they just don't care. My family HATES that they haven't met her yet. They so badly want us to come to California to see them. This is how I wish my husbands family would be. I know I can't make people change but in a situation like this, I wish it were possible. Now you can ask my friends, my husband and I are easy going people. We're fun and boring but that's what they love about us. Now why my husbands family can't stand me I will never know. Well I know how my husbands grandmother feels but we won't get on that. So Pun'kin's surgery is getting closer and closer even though it's still not until the end of the month. I am dreading it so much it's not even funny. Some times I sit and think about all of my sisters kids and get angry. Not at them but at the fact that all of their kids are fine. Although my twin's second son was born with intestinal malrotation. It is a type of obstruction caused by abnormal development of the intestines while a fetus is in the womb. He had to have major surgery at four weeks old. Now he is a healthy happy boy. I just get angry because I wish Pun'kin's feet where a quick fix and not so long. A big issue for me is the word sentimental. It sucks because of course I am female so of course I am going to be sentimental. I feel it is how you are sentimental towards things that makes my view of sentimental different than others. I wish in a lot of ways I could be a different person. I do like who I am but feel I could be a better person. I have quit smoking but have started drinking more. I don't want to be " that mom" where people go omg she's drinking and she has a baby!?! I am a great mother. I might not be the best but again I have only been a mom for 73 days! I think so far the worst thing that has been said to me since Pun'kin was born is that "I am more of a martyr than a mother!" When this was said to me Pun'kin was still in the NICU. Now most of you know Pun'kins real name, but I am leaving it as her nick name through out my blogs. Punk'kin is the nick name I have my daughter before we knew the sex of the baby. So I hope none of you are confused now. =)
It is hard for me to go over to my husbands parents house feeling the way I do about them. I know it is important for Pun'kin to have her grandparents in her life but, it's hard because I know they aren't good people. Mostly his mom. His dad I really like but I have my issues with him too, I just feel that as a parent if I know some one or something is not good for me than why would I take my daughter around those people? I do however understand that as Pun'kin grows up she will be able to make that decision on her own but for now because she is so young doesn't that mean I get to make that decision? does that make me selfish? or even a bad person? I feel like it would be easier if I could let things go but as Marge Simpson says "you're a woman, you can hold onto it forever" This is so true. Now that I am a mom I sit here and think how the hell did my mom do it? How does any parent who has more than one kid do it? Now Pun'kin is an AWESOME baby. She never really cries unless she is hungry or needs a clean diaper. She is a very GOOD baby. I joke with my husband all the time and tell him I had such a crappy pregnancy to have such a good daughter. We talk a lot about having another baby but then when we really think about it we just don't want another baby. He is the oldest of three and there is seven years between the next oldest and 18 years between the youngest. So he was pretty much an only child. Me I have many sisters. I love them all but we never really had money to do family things. We always had to have combined birthday parties. We never got to have many things just to ourselves. We shared almost everything and because there were so many of us we went without a lot of things. My parents did the best that they could, and let me tell you now that I live on my own,I understand what my parents meant by leaving the fridge open and cooling the entire neighborhood. Or when we took extremely long showers. I didn't really want my first child until 27. I wanted to have had school done a career started. Actually the same week I found out I was pregnant I was supposed to start community college to be a mechanic. Now I am a stay at home wife/mom and I love it. Some days I hate it because I just want to go do something but being home with Pun'kin is awesome. Some of my favorite things to do with her is dance with her around the house, or reading her stories. When Pun'kin was growing in my belly my husband would read stories to her. When she was born her first books that her dad read to her where about air, fire, the seasons, and day and night. When Pun'kin was in the nicu my husband ordered her her first little golden book and it of course it was The Little Mermaid. My husband and I think reading books to her is important. I joking tell my husband she's going to be a triple threat beautiful, smart and talented. One of the things that I can't wait to do with her is teach her how to roller skate. My dad taught me how to roller skate at two years old. I am 23 years old now and LOVE to roller skate as much as I did when I was younger. Well it's time to get the little miss ready to go see her grandparents. So again .. stay classy my friends
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