Yesterday sucked! Plain and simple. Today has been amazing. Pun'kin is in a great mood. She has been sleeping mostly all day. This is the most she has slept in a long time. I'm excited that going to California is getting closer but not excited that something could go wrong. My biggest concern is that Pun'kin might get an infection from the incisions and not being able to see it because of her casts. I am just a worry wart I guess. My husband on the other hand is pretty much cfare free. A little too carefree I must say. It kinda causes problems in our relationship. Our biggest problem is his parents. He likes to make excuses for his parents excuses. I always say that if my husband and I ever get divorced it won't because one of us cheated on the other, or that we just don't love eachother. It will be because of his family. Now I can't ask him to choose between Pun'kin and I. Or can I? His parents still haven't called to ask about Pun'kin. Its been two weeks since they have talked to us and or seen us. I'm at the point where I just don't want Pun'kin to go there at all. I feel if they really wanted to see her they would. And they just don't. You can understand my frustration. Last night when I broke down my husband started cleaning the apartment. I thought it was funny that it took me to have a complete melt down for him to help clean the apartment. What really set me off is that he said that he couldn't watch Pun'kin and clean at the same time because he knew he wouldn't be able to do a good enough job. See what he doesn't understand is I take care of our daughter and do dishes, put them away. Do laundry and put that away. I sweep and vacuum. Clean the cat box. All in one day. It just infuriated me. Beyond anything I wanted to punch him in the damn face. I understand his job sucks and gets stressful but he's not doing anything to change it. I feel like I'm catering to his woe is me and obviously I am my daughters slave but.. wher's the me time? I mean 100 percent me time? It just doesn't exist. Now I really understand what they mean that moms never get alone time and I can understand how relationships end because of it. I have decided that when my husband gets home today are going to sit down and talk about how I feel. I need us to communicate and I need him to understand how I feel. Now I know he might not completely understand how I feel but at least I can voice how I feel. Yes I hate bombarding him as soon as he walks in the door but as you read yesterday I lost it. I need my husband to understand I need some help. I think he does know I need help but he either just doesn't care or he is just lazy. Either way its a bunch of bull. I told him yesterday if things don't change I might not come home from California. I'm serious too. If I'm doing everything on my own and my husband won't help why do more than I need to? I could divorce him move back to California where I know I'll get the help and I'll be able to start my life. Well my husband should be home soon so as always, stay classy my friends
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