My life is a complete mess

I have realized a lot about myself and the things I want to change. I am 24 years old with no drivers licence. I have only a high school education and I haven't worked for two years! I find it hard to think about Pun'kin and me trying to explain to her the real world and how to independent. How do I tell my daughter to be independent when I rely on my husband? How do I tell her what the real world is like when I haven't really had the chance to experience it? Yes I did drugs and yes I do drink but that's all part of growing up. Working hard and paying bills and living on your own is in my opinion "being independent." I feel like a LOSER.! I am thankful for all that I have. I am thankful that my husband works 5 days a week to pay the bills but it's frustrating to be broke all the time. It's frustrating knowing that because I don't work I can't help to make sure bills are paid on time. I am tired of people "pitying" us and always feeling some what obligated to help us. Or ask "do you need help with anything?" When I was younger and working full time, I loved the feeling of knowing that if I wanted something no matter how big or small I could have it. I have NO CREDIT to my name. I do however have debt but not my fault. Literally not my fault.Yes I do not have a licence but that does not mean I don't know how to drive. My husbands parents already look down on me because I don't contribute to the house. When I was pregnant my husband and I were hurting for money but we went to visit his parents which was an hour away and I got hungry. So my husband took me to Mcdonalds and got me a meal. For what ever reason my husbands dad drove our car and found the receipt and pulled my husband aside and gave him crap for spending so much money on food. I HATE having to ask for things. I hate having to stress about having money to buy me shampoo or conditioner or even hair spay. I feel so needy. I hate to think that without my husband I couldn't support myself or my daughter. I feel trapped. I feel like I don't have the opportunity to move forward and that I have to learn to accept to be comfortable with nothing. How can I be a good parent if I can't even do things for myself? I just feel like I am a bad example of how to be successful. I feel like a mooch. Instead of living rent free with no obligations to try and get a job, I live with my husband and essentially mooch off of him. I can't work because I don't have a baby sitter. I also don't have a car. Living with no family to help you sucks. It sucks when people say well you don't have anyone who can help you? My husbands family won't help us. Especially me. Even if helping me meant providing for my daughter they "my husbands family" still wouldn't help me. I am trapped. Trapped in this apartment seven days a week.My husband has decided that with his new job I can have an "allowance." WOW... that pissed me off. Pre teens and teenagers get an allowance, and how do they get that allowance? By doing chores. So him saying I get an allowance made me feel like I am getting rewarded for doing my house wife and stay at home mommy duties. I get a whopping 10 percent of his check. OMG REALLY? I could whore myself out and hate my job but make more than he does. I would rather sell my eggs than get a 10 percent allowance of his pay checks. That statement made me feel so low. I already feel like a nothing but him saying that made me feel worthless. I could understand if he made BIG MONEY and I SPENT a lot of money that he would decide to put me on an allowance but come on now. He makes 1300 a month we don't even have 130 left over for him to give me. LOL. really we don't. Our rent is 775 not including utilities. Our car payment is 350 that's already 1125 that's 175 left over. our cell bill a month 30$ that leaves 145 our utilities lets say is at high 60 that leaves 85 dollars. So guess what that last 85 Is groceries for the month! Did I mention diapers and wipes?? oh wait THERE'S NO MONEY LEFT So tell me how in the hell am I going to get 130 in "allowance" a month? I'd really like to know. I didn't even mention our internet bill or our netflix bill. I am thankful that we have money to have all the things we do. I really am but as you can see if I were to be working things wouldn't be so tough. I just don't get it. I really don't. But, it's late and I need to try to get some sleep before Pun'kin wakes up to eat. So thanks for listening to me vent and as always stay classy my friends. Although my language in this blog was not so classy!